Big visions and little dreams

I was talking to a Lutheran pastor last week who told me about a Methodist church in Indianapolis that had a person they called a "roving listener".  That's a pretty cool title for what I feel like I am doing in the far northwest side of South Bend.  I just go and listen.  It's more fulfilling when our conversations can touch on God, but that only happens about half the time.  A lot of people have trouble doing what I do, which is amazing to me because talking to people comes so natural to me.

I have been working on developing a vision for my ministry and talking to all these people is a help.  It occurred to me the other day, though, that I am at a point where I need to decide if this is a little dream or if it's a place for a big vision.  So much depends upon the willingness of the churches to invest in me and this ministry because I can do a bunch of little things in the community here and there that meet some needs, but to create a lasting and powerful ministry is going to require time. 

I've started by submitting an initiative to the South Bend Housing Authority which has been favorably received.  I'm waiting to hear from them about some of their requirements before I can start teaching some elementary computer skills classes.  I have a vision of expanding that program to the point where it can be self-replicating in other housing projects throughout the city, but, again, that is a vision that requires investment.

I met with a woman today who told me how to start up a soup kitchen and it sounds like something I could do.  That's part of my huge vision for the area-a soup kitchen, food co-op and clothing.  Putting something like this in place will require a lot of work, time, effort and volunteers.  This is something that I could do.

Part of the issue is having the faith to step out and do this.  It worries me to think about the funding (particularly my salary), but I also know that I need to have faith in the venture.  If this is God's will nothing can stand in its way.  I preach about having faith and God's everpresent support so I suppose this is the time for me to live out my words and stand on my faith.  I believe this is what disciples are charged to do so I need to just do it.

church versus ministry

I didn't publish a post last week as I usually do because we had two missionaries from Nicaragua staying at our house.  I was doing translation work all week and was simply too tired to post. 

The last couple weeks were spent meeting up with people including other pastors.  These experiences have been weird to say the least.  I met with one committee and was describing my ministry to them when one individual asked me what I wanted from them.  Apparently, this church, which is wealthy, is used to being asked to fund mission and ministry.  I was taken aback and told them I didn't want their money-what I was asking for was their prayers and I wanted them to prepare themselves for when I asked them to participate in my ministry.  I'm thinking I didn't make a good impression because we had such different ideas of doing ministry.  Financial support is essential to a community ministry, but those supporters need to buy into the vision and I guess I didn't cast a good vision.

Another pastor I met with is a very faithful guy.  He is pushing the church he serves to do more Bible study and to become serious about inviting others to church.  He told me about some of the outreach things they had done and how many people they had served.  The down-side to the mission work was that not one of those people were grateful for the assistance nor did they attend worship at that church.  For this pastor, mission meant growing the church and he felt that was his calling as well as the Biblical mandate.  He went on to say that it was his thought that doing ministry to the community without directing them to a church was sort of a waste of time.

These were some pretty crazy conversations.  My understanding of mission and ministry is so very different. Helping people with their relationship with God is one thing, but church membership is another entirely.  When Jesus asked Peter if he loved him he said "Feed my sheep", not go to church.  Jesus didn't even say to go buy sheep food, but to feed the flock.  Mission and ministry are about making relationships.  To love people, care for them and feed them we have to know them.  This is the model of the Christ; Jesus became fully human to know us.

I did have some fun last week at a conference with Pat Meagly, Delray Brooks and Kevin Bacon.  I was at a session meeting and got funded to go to a conference with Alan Hirsch presenting.

Best of all I'm beginning to get some vision of where this ministry should go.  I feel resource poor, but I fe
el like God's gonna make it work.  It is really hard getting my ego out of the picture so that God can work.  I started getting scared, too.  I'm asking for a Damascus Road experience but I don't want to be struck blind.  Before you laugh, I'm praying hard for God to give me a vision and that's how God worked in the past.

Please pray for me, follow my blog, give comments and offer direction!

Vision quest

I had a good week running around the neighborhood, but, once again, I felt drawn to the Keller Park area.  I spent time helping Mack repair his garage, since he's physically not able to do that.  I talked to a young guy who had his clothes taken by a guy who was allowed to move into the home but turned out to be a gang-banger and thug.  I had no money and no way of helping this guy; it occurred to me how resource poor this area is.

I had time to sit with Gene a little on Friday and he suggested that I do some work on a vision for the ministry.  He mentioned and I re-read Habakkuk today.  "Though it tarry's, wait for it." resonates with me.  I have been praying for this vision and waiting for it, but I still feel very unsure about the whole thing.  I've generated a list of projects and talked to a lot of people to get their impression so I need to let this steep.  My friend suggested I give it 40 days which would take me to the 9th of this month.  I don't like to give God a deadline, but maybe it's me that needs this deadline.

I spent the day doing a lot of reading on casting visions and so on, but there's not a lot to read about this.  I feel like my situation is so unique that what is written doesn't apply.  On the other hand, I know that's just not so and I continue to look for Biblical examples that are similar to my situation.  I started reading Jeremiah because I have a sense of being unsupported in this ministry.  Don't get me wrong, I know there are people I can touch for emotional support, but there aren't too many to walk with me.  I sort of sense that God sent me out to develop a community or identify others to walk with me in that task.  I just feels like a big job.

As I think about the coming week I think about how I can work on this vision.  I know I'm going to have to spend time in prayer and meditation, but that's hard because it's not really "doing" anything.  It's hard for me to shake that impulse to do rather than simply spend time with God.  I don't have a prayer closet or a place in which I feel especially close to God.  I need to develop such a place or mind-set here in MI.  I know that prayer and meditation are vital disciplines to my ministry.