We Are Not Alone-the value of relationship

One of the hardest things about my ministry is the inherent sense of innovation.  This approach to doing ministry, modeled after the first century, is so old that it's new to most people.  Concepts like making relationship, listening to people's stories and community building do not fit well and are not highly valued in our culture.  21st century American society uses paradigms that place a premium on the quick fix that one gets from a targeted programmatic intervention, not consensus building and inclusion.

I found a great joy last week when I connected with Mike Mather at Broadway Methodist in Indianapolis.  A conversation I had with Tim Knauff, a Lutheran in South Bend, led me to Mike, who is doing a ministry virtually the same as I.  Arrangements were made and I got in contact with Mike, who introduced me to De'Amon Harges.  De'Amon works with Eric to make relationships and then connect people in the community, which is a mirror of my work in South Bend.  It was awesome to talk with people who have an active ministry doing what I do-suddenly I don't feel so alone.

This blog posting turned into an object lesson in relationships and networking.  Just look how I was encouraged and nourished by relationships. It would be easy to create a programmatic response with appropriate outcome data for the areas to which I minister, but that action invalidates the people I seek to serve.  Spending time on relationship builds up, validates and acknowledges people to fulfill the greatest commandment.  Even though I write about ministry, there is immense value to enhancing relationship in marriage, friendship and work associations.

I recognize the value, the necessity, of sitting in this formative time of relationship making, but the notion of a quick fix is very seductive.  It just seems wrong somehow to not take action, however, jumping to a solution and doing what I think is needed, the way we have always responded, is clearly not the right way to go.  The importance of spending time in relationship was underlined by Mike in Indy and by another friend who I met in Indianapolis, Bob Lupton of FCS/Desire Street in Atlanta.  Mike and Bob both talked about some of their mistakes and one common theme was the failure to make relationship with those they sought to help.  People who are doing effective community ministry talk about how the relationships of a successful ministry are years in the making.
 

We miss out on a lot when we fail to slow down.  When time spent in discernment and relationship is neglected, we lose ears for the still small voice.  I was just reading an article today about how our society has done away with downtime and eliminated sacred space.  Sure, there is action and excitement in community ministry, but it is when we take time for reflection and relationship that the real work is accomplished.